Castiel Falls
by rachangeleyes
Summary: Castiel has disobeyed Heaven for the last time and he falls. His wings are in pieces and Dean tries to help.


Dean was sat in motel room #827 after a long boring week of the same case- a vampire which was easily taken care of- with Sam when he heard a crash next door. That was Castiel's room after they had convinced him to get his own. The Winchesters exchanged a glance then Dean sighed. He knew it had to be him.

The hunter approached Castiel's door and knocked. "Cas… You okay?" he called.

Dean heard a groan and then pushed the door open. It was dark inside and the only light was coming through the solitary window of the room. He could just spot a hunched over figure sitting with his knees up to his chest in the corner of the room. Dean crossed the room quickly but was startled by Castiel's cry.

"No! Don't come closer!"

Dean stopped in his tracks. "What? What's going on, Cas?"

Castiel groaned again and kneaded his eyes with the heels of his hands. "Turn the light on," he whispered.

Dean didn't want to take his eyes off the angel but he stepped over to a lamp on the bedside table and turned it on. From the brighter light, he could make out two thick lines of dark feathers ranging from navy blue to silver to jet black on the floor behind Castiel. The two lines of feathers looked as though they were racing from Castiel's back and each row was around 10 feet long.

"Cas… What hap- Are those…" Dean couldn't bring himself to say it.

"Yes," he said. "My wings. I…"

Dean's breath caught in his throat. "You what, Cas? What happened?" He knew the answer already but he didn't want to believe it.

"I… I…" Castiel took a deep breath then said, "I… fell."

Dean ran his hands through his hair. He knew how important being an angel was to Cas and he felt personally responsible for this.

"Why… Why now?" Dean braved the question. He was still stood so he sat on the edge of the bed looking over Castiel still hunched on the floor.

Castiel didn't meet his eyes. "I disobeyed. Again. They wanted information from me. About…about you and Sam. I couldn't give it to them. I had already lied to you and gone against your trust before. I could not do that to you again, Dean. But they decided it was final. To be an angel you have to obey orders. You are a soldier. What I was doing… that wasn't being an angel. That was disobeying and going against what being an angel means."

Dean's eyes widened. "So they…_made_ you fall?

Castiel nodded. "Yes."

The hunter didn't know what to do. Anna had fallen but she was happy. Castiel clearly was not. He had done something for Dean again. Falling. As Dean looked at Castiel clutching his knees to his chest on the floor, he knew they couldn't just stay in the same position like this for the rest of their time here.

"Come on," Dean said, moving himself onto the floor and crouching in front of Castiel.

He still didn't look at Dean so, going against everything that told him not to, the hunter grabbed his wrists and tried to look at Castiel.

"Hey, listen to me. It doesn't matter if you-"

"Don't say that to me, Dean," Castiel said, looking at him finally. Faded blue eyes to fierce green eyes.

Dean looked at him. "It doesn't to me."

Castiel sighed and Dean saw that tears were filling his beautiful eyes that Dean has stared into on more than one occasion. Around Castiel's eyes remained red and puffy. Dean hated seeing the angel- _his angel_- like this. He had ran around Purgatory for a year to find him. He had fought to get Castiel out through the portal only to have him pull away and now he was back. Dean couldn't face seeing him like this and he held Castiel's hands closer to his face by his wrists.

"Are you hearing me?" Dean said crouching more to meet the blue eyes again. They were both on their knees now. "It doesn't matter to me. You're still here. That's all I want. I don't care if you have your mojo or not, I just-" He couldn't say it.

Castiel tried to pull his hands away but Dean caught them again holding him by his fingers.

"Dean, I…"

"No. I just want you…here. I want you with me- us. All the time. Please, Cas."

Their eyes met again and Dean couldn't take it any more. His arms wrapped around the ex-angel's shoulders and pulled him into a warm hug. He felt Castiel's arms wrap around his waist and his head come to rest on Dean's shoulder. Dean felt damp tears through his shirt and he just hugged him in closer and tighter. His eyes fell to the feathers behind Castiel and realised that they truly didn't matter. Dean just wanted Castiel- his Cas.

…

When Dean had managed to pull Castiel up off the floor, they both moved onto one of the crappy motel beds but Dean didn't care. Castiel fit next to his body like it was made to be there. Dean's arm was around him, pulling him closer and Cas's head was on his shoulder.

"What about the future, Dean? Remember… in 2014… I…"

"No. I'm not gonna let that happen. Believe me. I'll do anything for that not to happen. We're not gonna end up like that."

From Dean's stern words, Castiel felt more comforted and he pressed even closer to Dean.

"Dean, I-"

"Yeah, I know, Cas. I know."

They both smiled as they both drifted off into a long sleep next to each other.


End file.
